Creatures on the Loose #17 - Gullivar Jones on Mars, Part 2.

SATURDAY, 22 MARCH 2014

Creatures on the Loose #17 - Gullivar Jones on Mars, Part 2.

Last time,the Robinson-oh wait,sorry-wrong blog- we saw how newly-discharged Earth soldier Gullivar Jones came to be on Mars, doing the John Carter thing.

This week, it's time to see what progress he makes now he's got there.

And it has to be said, he doesn't make a lot.Roy Thomas tries to mixmaster elements of Arnold,Burroughs and Howard-Robert E.Howard-not Clint Howard.

Having been dumped, unconscious, on a funeral barge as it makes its way down a Martian river, Gullivar recovers just in time to fight some giant caterpillars and then get captured by some spider-bat-men who then proceed to offer him and a captive pterodactyl man up as a snack for their giant god Phra.

Pha is Roys tribute to another Edwin Lester Arnold book-Pha the Phoneacian.Another book,people Eddie Burroughs read,because it's an ageless guy like John Carter.

According to Wikipedia, the reason Gullivar Jones never caught on like John Carter did was because, in the original book, he was a bit of a failure, losing fights, left, right and centre while getting pushed around by events rather then pushing them around.

And you can certainly see signs of it here. He starts off unconscious,thinks he see's Heru-the Princess of this Mars,but transforms into a big bug- then gets bitten by a giant caterpillar then loses consciousness.Ok,John Carter might do,but he'd make by kicking ass later on.Gullivar Jones then loses a fight with the spider-bat-men and then finishes off by being offered up as a takeaway to Pha-the regular monster type,you see in Creatures on the Loose

. He might have super-strength while he's on Mars and have combat training but he does come across as a man in severe need of a good rescuing.See,maybe Gullivar Jones should had Lu Pov join him.I want Gullivar Jones-I really do,but he more of big boob,than hero.And when Peter Parker screws up,Spider-Man often triumphs.If Conan screws up,it's to let triumph later on.Remember Ralph Hinkley?In the Greatest American Hero,he never got the hang of flying and then lost the manual to the suite.You have a hero screw up,but sometime,you have to let win a few battles,other the audiance,go forget him-I'll switch over the other guy.Luke Skywalker screws up allot in Star Wars-gets his ass kicked in a bar fight,but he win the bigger space battles.He loses a hand to Darth Vader,but thats only to see wise up understand his father was bigger screw up- and time to do right thing-listen to Yoda and Obi-Wan for the big event next-knocking out Jabba,rescueing Han Solo and the take out the Empire-something his pop Anakin Skywalker caused to come about so Vader can do what should done twenty some years before-throw that old Pervert Empiror out a window.Gullivar Jones-then to do something similar.

On the plus side, it's all non-stop drama and, as before, Gil Kane's art is excellent, making the strip memorable and worth reading for that alone. We also get a suitably cliff-hanging ending with what looks like the sort of monster Marvel loved to throw at us at every opportunity in the late 1950s and early 1960s. So, at least it seems we have reason to look forward to next issue.

Creatures on the Loose #16 - Gullivar Jones on Mars.

SATURDAY, 15 MARCH 2014

Creatures on the Loose #16 - Gullivar Jones on Mars.

The Princess of Mars and John Carter the first draft,written that less successful Edgar Rice Burroughs-Edwin Lester Arnold 

It always seemed to me that there was one obvious drawback to getting super-powers.

Which was that, to get them, you first had to actually do something.

For instance, you had to steal a rocket ship and fly it through cosmic rays. Or you had to build a gamma bomb and then let it explode at you. Or you had to attend a science show and let spiders bite you.

If you wanted lots of powers, you had to do all these things and take refuge from aliens, in a cave, whilst banging a stick against a wall.

Reader, you know by now that banging a stick against a wall is beneath the dignity of a man of my quality, no matter how strong it might make me.

You can imagine, therefore, just how impressed I was, as a child, with Gullivar Jones.

After all, he managed to get his super-powers just by walking down the street.

Admittedly, he then got sent to Mars - which is a bit of a downside - and had to fight big red lobster men but he did at least get to snog a princess, so it wasn't all bad news.

Some first came across Gullivar Jones in the pages of Marvel UK's Planet of the Apes, a mag that seems to be getting a zillion and one mentions round here lately.I rediscovered him,by way of bargain basement comic junk sales.

And I was impressed at once.Sort of

Not only did it have the lazy person's guide to getting super-powers but it was drawn by Gil Kane in a genre I always felt suited him best.

But of course, those tales were just reprints. Gullivar Jones made his real Marvel Comics debut in Creatures on the Loose #16 and what happens in that issue is that Jones, having just quit the army, is leaving the officers' club for the last time, when a man -Lu Pov on a flying disc descends from the heavens, declares Jones is going to be a saviour and sends him back through time to Mars to fight evil wherever he finds it.Lu Pov,is Roy Thomas trying to upgrade the material and pay tribute a ERB fan.In the original tale,the character is a nobody,who fall into the street,dropping his magic Martian carget as he drops dead.It's unfortunate,Lu Pov,isn't used as Gullivar Jones Martian Guide,than the old guy,who brings the heroes magic device and then drops dead.

You will of course be aware this is remarkably similar to John Lennon's claim that the Fab Four got their name when a man descended on a flaming pie and told them to call themselves the Beatles. Whether it's the same man in both cases, I'm not at all sure.

To be honest, anyone with any sense, upon arriving against his will on Mars, would promptly burst into tears and be too busy sobbing to do anything.After his hair turns white and clothes gets shredded on his trip backward in time to Mars,Gullivar Jones come across a titanic city,with a vast tent community arround it.

But Gullivar Jones isn't just any man.Jones,unlike novel version,dosen't time jumping across deep space and flying over the Martian lanscape.

He's an interfering busybody.Problem is,he isn't heroic as John Carter.Gullivar Jones,here unlike in the book,cuts right into the action,jumps off his magic carpet and save Martian yellow skinned Princess Hero from her idiot brother and the red skinned Hither Barbarians.

And so, the instant he arrives, he leaps into action to rescue the aforementioned princess from the aforementioned lobster men Hither People and then gets to road-test her tonsils before she's snatched by pterodactyl people and he's left, out cold, on a funeral barge and heading towards his doom.Heru is no Dejah Thoris.Neither novel,comic strip or book version.And certainly,she isn't Lynne Collins,who'd bust a few heads,before getting kidnapped.

This of course all makes Jones sound like a rip-off of John Carter but the magic of Wikipedia tells me he was originally created by Edwin Lester Arnold in 1905 and therefore predates Carter by a good seven years. The fact that Carter's had a string of books and a movie made about him, and Jones hasn't, only goes to show there's no justice in the world.Yeah,right Wikipenishia.Time to step off your blow hard,Sheldon Cooper arrogance,let somebody else sit your favorite seat and move over.

In terms of characterisation, in this issue, we get to learn next to nothing about Jones, and even less about the Princess, so it's all a bit shallow - and, to be honest, feels more DC in that regard than Marvel. But it's beautifully drawn and zips along. And, most of all, with its strange alien world to explore, it holds out the promise of more action, adventure and bizarreness to come in the very next issue.

Does it produce that bizarreness?

Well,no-planetary romances,wthether John Carter or Dune are always fantastic.The only good or bad thing is,in the telling.

We'll have to find out next weekend when I take a look at that very next issue.

And, if Brian Blessed isn't in it as a hawk man, I shall very disappointed with them.While you wait,just imagine this -My Dinner with Brian Blessed and Ronald Long.-Admirel Zarhk of Lost in Space.

Brian-What?FLASH.

Ronald-No,MISTER SKIDNOSE-NOT FLASH

 The fact that Carter's had a string of books and a movie made about him, and Jones hasn't, only goes to show there's no justice in the world.
What?Sorry,ERB might be perfect,by he was way better a writer Edwin Lester.Arnold.The thing flopped,unfortunately.Arnold makes a few dum mistakes and Gullivar Jones is fall guy because of them.I like Gullivar Jones,don't me wrong,but the story does end on a bad note.Suddenly,Jones gets back his previously unmentioned girlfreind.Least,the comic tried to make for allot of dum mistakes.If Burroughs did read this book-the novel,not the comic ofcourse and said he could write,success of John Carter proves right and fanboy pro whats his name wrong